the time where everything seems to become a big blur of my life. I do as im told and i work hard. But it never fails to come home at night and wonder am i doing what is right? I ask myself a thousand times over if I should be where i am. I cannot ask for anything more out of life i suppose.. i have someone who absolutely adores me, although i always question his fidelity because of my own insecurities that were brought upon me when i was young. He doesn’t deserve any of it, but still years after every person i have ever been with suffered from my insecurities. When it comes down to it he loves me for me and will more than likely take every breath proving it to me. Trust is something that never came easy to me, after having your heart pulled out of our chest and stomped on, you’d feel the same too. Everyone has suffered from heart break, its a part of human life. It all depends on how you move on from it, i see my friends and family going through the most heart wrenching periods of time throughout their lives. It takes time, lots of time to heal. And even still its an open wound that can be easily turned back into a gaping hole with just one word.. Life is way to short to let some piece of shit take you down a notch. Im no preacher because i myself have done my fair share of heart aches on to others due to my insecurities and/or unable to fully be happy in a relationship. Really, i shouldn’t have been in half of the relationships I was because i knew i wasn’t happy from the moment i went into them. That’s what loneliness will do to you..But here i stand a mere 23 years old and still trying to find the meaning to true happiness. Is it waking up every morning the most caring person ive ever had in my life? Or seeing my nieces and nephews grow up becoming beautiful people? Or knowing that i have a job that i truly enjoy doing… I could go on forever of why i should be happy.. At the end of the day i try and figure out these reasons and for once try to be truly happy for what i have.